Dr. H. Calloway
Principal Investigator
Twenty-two years studying primates that are studying her back. Author of They Point Up: A Memoir.
For public release · Mostly
Specimen Dossier № 047: Callithrix stellaris, the Common Star-Mecamonkey
Overview
In March of 1972, a weather balloon operated by this office returned from the upper stratosphere carrying seventeen kilograms of equipment it had not been launched with, including a small telescope, a half-eaten nutrient bar of unknown manufacture, and one (1) extremely calm monkey.
Subsequent observation has confirmed a stable population of Callithrix stellaris in the near-Earth environment. The species is not native to Earth. The species is, as far as we can determine, not native to anywhere. When asked, subjects point upward.
Taxonomy & Vital Statistics
| Species | Callithrix stellaris (colloq. "star-marmoset") |
|---|---|
| Origin | Space (general). Repeated questioning yields only pointing. |
| Mass | 2.1 kg (Earth); subjects decline to be weighed elsewhere |
| Diet | Freeze-dried banana, station coffee (stolen), starlight (claimed, unverified) |
| Top speed | 7.8 km/s, but only when it wants something |
| Vocalization | A low chirp at exactly 1420 MHz, which several radio astronomers have described as "a problem" |
| Conservation status | Least Concern. If anything, the concern flows the other way. |
Observed Behaviors
Tool use. Extensive and, frankly, better than ours. Specimens have been observed recalibrating our own instruments, and the resulting data is cleaner. The instrumentation team has stopped filing complaints and started filing requests.
Social structure. Troops of 8–12 individuals arranged in what our sociologist describes as "a flat organizational hierarchy with strong documentation culture." Grooming behavior appears to double as code review.
Play. Subjects engage in a game involving three moons of Jupiter. The rules are not understood. The score, as of this revision, is 4,081 to 12. We do not know who is winning, only that it is not us.
Field Log (Excerpts)
Recovered specimen from balloon payload. Specimen calm. Staff less so. Specimen has completed intake paperwork unprompted, in triplicate. Handwriting excellent.
Specimens returned the borrowed telescope. Attached note reads, in full: "you were holding it backwards." Note forwarded to the Director.
Troop observed constructing a structure on the lunar farside. When queried by radio, troop responded with schematics, a permit application addressed to no known authority, and an invitation to a housewarming. Attendance is under review.
All specimens accounted for. Specimen № 12 waved. This office has elected to interpret the gesture as friendly.
Complete field log (54 vols.) available upon request. Requests are reviewed by Specimen № 12, who approves most of them.
Research Team
Dr. R. Osei
Orbital Ethology
Maintains the troop census and the office's only working relationship with Specimen № 12, based on a shared dislike of meetings.
M. Ferreira
Instrumentation (Ret.)
Retired after the specimens fixed the spectrometer. Remains on call. The specimens have not called.
Specimen № 12
Liaison (Self-Appointed)
Duties include waving, approving records requests, and winning. Declined to provide a biography, citing modesty.